Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Naked Slavegirls Slink Into Skyrim, Oblivion, DragonAge Origins

First published on 1/16/2012


"My erotic stats are to the max!"

Game designers have been quick to pump up the violence in their games, but sort of slow to pump up the sex. Easy to figure out why: the censors get pumped when the sex gets pumped. Can't have young men thinking about teh sexy!

Unfortunately for the Forces of Darkness, aka censors, games are becoming more modifiable, i.e., players can alter the game and its characters to more closely suit their interests. Good for the game, good for the gamers, bad for the censors. Because of course that mean slavegirls are slinking into video games other than Second Life, which isn't really a game anyway.

You can see evidence of it on Youtube, where a gamer named kajiragames has uploaded a number of his or her adventures playing characters who are modded to be naked slave girls. He or she's got a slavegirl character playing Oblivion, as well a a naked female viking playing DragonAge: Origins, and a naked female character playing Skyrim. I doubt there's much encouragement or guidance in ANY of these games as to how to construct naked female characters to play these games, just generic information on how to mod the game, but as we all know, real people tend to be a lot more creative and interesting than any corporation would ever allow.

You can check out an Oblivion run through here, there'll also be links to other kajiragames run throughs. The easiest way to see all the various game runs is to subscribe to kajiragames' channel. Maybe he or she will post some information about how the modding is done.

Now, granted, all of the videos I've seen so far has had the chracter engaging in solitary quests and dealing with NPCs (non playe characters) but frankly, it's just a matter of time til this capabiity reaches MMOs and of course, as soon as that happens the MMOs will be flooded with naked slavegirls turning all these formerly wholesome games inot the same kind of sexual monkeyshines that makes Second Life such a riot to play.

Of course, you may be wondering, why isn't everyone playing Second Life then? The answer is obvious ... Second Life demands a certain amount of creativity on the part of its players to get the max out of it. Most other games provide pre-planned characters, roles and stories, but in the case of, say, Second Life Gor all the characters, roles, stories, clothes, locales and so forth are created by the players using the tools Second Life offers. Not everyone has that kind of creativity. But as soon as it gets easy to buy/copy/borrow/whatever slavegirl character mods for all these moddable gains, I anticipate hordes of slavegirls flooding the games in zombielike waves, crying "Buy me, Master! Buy me, Maaaasterrrrrrrr..."


"Buy me, Mistress! I'm much cheaper than the dog and it won't be NEARLY so distressing if your husband fucks me ... I mean, compared to the dog ... oh, forget it, I'm TERRIBLE at marketing!" Image source: Naked Valkyrie in kajiragamer's Skyrim run-through.

Tuesday, March 19, 2013

Slave Girl Marketing

First published on 10/15/2011


"Well no wonder the slave girls aren't selling! You've got them sitting right under the fish racks! What the HELL were you thinking? Go bathe the lot of them and sit them over by the spice merchants! Idiot!"

Image is a publicity still from the recent "Conan the Barbarian" movie, which by all accounts was ruined by a similar error ... gave the movie to a known idiot director. What the HELL were they thinking?

This sort of mistake would never happen on Gor!

Announcing the Kajira Doll!

First published on 10/6/2011


The doll of YOUR dreams and prudo-feminist nightmares!

Bondagerotica announces the Kajira Doll, the latest product from GorCo, the world's largest manufacturer of dolls that are anatomically correct, politically incorrect and TOTALLY biodegradable! Check it out!

Virtual Worlds Found To Be Most Efficient Internet Time Waster

First published on 2/15/2010

The creation and use of virtual worlds has been discovered to be the most efficient time-waster on the Internet by a whopping 37 percent margin, a new study shows.

"The numbers were virtually astounding," said Marco Sofapommedeterre, president and CEO of Virtual Studies, Inc., the Internet survey firm that conducted the survey, which is famous for keeping its headquarters in Mrs. Sofapommedeterre's basements even after it had grown to become a $10,000 Virtuabucks a month business. ($10,000 Viruabucks equals $3.95 US.)

"Although porn downloading remains by far the biggest time-waster in the Internet by virtue of the fact that a whopping 103 percent of Internet users do it regularly, virtual worlds is MUCH more efficient in terms of the results/time ratio," Sofapommedeterre said. "You spend MUCH more time sitting staring at your computer while the world downloads with virtual worlds. Plus, virtual worlds are MUCH more demanding of computer resources than porn or any other application. It's hard to explain the thrill of staring at a frozen computer screen while your cpu is 98% occupied, and knowing you aren't even downloading a virus -- but it's a real thrill nonetheless!"

The creation of virtual worlds software of various sorts is an even more efficient Internet time waster, Sofapommedeterre said, as 99 percent of all programming activity related to virtual worlds is bound to lead to the creation of virtual worlds that are fated to never have any actual inhabitants.

The proprietary nature of Virtual Studies' survey software means that they can't reveal anything about their methodology or even the number of users polls, but as Senior Media Analyst Susan Whiffenpoof of Bondagerotica says, "Gee, ain't that something?"